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YOU MIGHT BE A PHYSICS
MAJOR...
if you have no life - and you can PROVE it mathematically.
if you know vector calculus but you can't remember how to do long
division.
if you chuckle whenever anyone says "centrifugal
force."
if you've actually used every single function on your graphing
calculator.
if when you look in a mirror, you see a physics major.
if it is sunny and 27 degrees outside, and you are working on a
computer.
if you frequently whistle the theme song to "MacGyver."
if you always do homework on Friday nights.
if you know how to integrate a chicken and can take the
derivative of water.
if you think in "math."
if you've calculated that the World Series actually diverges.
if you hesitate to look at something because you don't want to
break down its wave function.
if you have a pet named after a scientist.
if you laugh at jokes about mathematicians.
if you can translate English into Binary.
if you can't remember what's behind the door in the science
building which says "Exit."
if you have to bring a jacket with you, in the middle of summer,
because there's a wind-chill factor in the lab.
if you avoid doing anything because you don't want to contribute
to the eventual heat-death of the universe.
if you consider ANY non-science course "easy."
if when your teacher/professor asks you where your homework is,
you claim to have accidentally determined its momentum so
precisely, that according to Heisenberg it could be anywhere in
the universe.
if the "fun" center of your brain has deteriorated from
lack of use.
if you'll assume that a "horse" is a "sphere"
in order to make the math easier.
if you understood more than five of these indicators.
if you make a hard copy of this list, and post it on your door.
If these indicators apply to you, there is good reason to suspect
that you might be classified as a physics major. I hope this
clears up any confusion.
©2001 Charla Beaulieu
This document was last modified on Friday, November 09, 2007
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